I’m the Alpha-Female, dammit.

I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I gave up on walking my dog Eddie a while back. He was too much of a spaz and I just wasn’t digging it. He’d walk all over the place, tangle up the leash causing me to almost eat sh*t a couple times, and he’d stop abruptly and not want to move for reasons unbeknownst to this ignorant human.

Well this morning I decided I needed to get him walking again. It’s cruel not to walk dogs and it’s not my fault his daddy doesn’t want to walk him! He’s a dog and needs to walked. So I got up 25 minutes early this morning and off we went.

The walk went OK at first. I kept my shoulders back and the leash tight, and I kept walking and did not allow him to stop. When we got to the park, I don’t know what happened but he did not want to move. He stopped in his tracks and gave me this “If I move from this spot I will DIE” look. So I let him hang out for a bit, then I tugged on his leash. He didn’t budge, so I tugged a little harder. I pulled so hard his damn collar came off. Luckily he still stood there like a frozen dog, so I just slipped it back on and tightened it a bit.

After a few more attempts, I said screw this and I picked him up and carried him out of the park. Once we were gone and back in the neighborhood, he seemed OK. He was walking a little slower so I guess he was just tired. Poor little thing is so out of shape. People used to think we didn’t feed him because he was so skinny. Now he’s a plump little thing. Kind of shameful really. Oh well, everyone (and every dog) has to start somewhere. We’ll try again tomorrow, but I’m going to stay away from that scary park.